End of Feb 2014

Some days they are going to pound you.  The world.  Other people.  Time and circumstance.  You are going to have good days, sure, but you are going to have days where you start at zero and it all seems to go down from there.

I'm telling you this so it won't surprise you.  They will punch you in the nose and make you cry.  They will take your lunch money, and try to fight you for your soul.  They own neither.  They don't have a right to either.  If you don't fight and fight - even if you don't want to fight - then they will take both.

To win a battle takes heart.  It takes strength, mind ... tactics and strategy, but without heart there is no victory.  The will to fight.

So in order to not get crushed, mowed down, or eaten ... you have to set aside part of your will for these unexpected battles.  Much like you always have enough money in a bank account to deal with emergencies, you need to have enough emotional/will reserves to fight off these sorts of unexpected attacks from the sides.

And people will conspire to suck you dry of will.

Here is a beautiful lecture on time and capacity by Randy Pausch.  (link, link)  I hope that by the time you read this, the videos still exist.

Randy says of creativity that you have to find the times that you are most protective and guard them fiercely.  Times that are low-productivity can be spent on things like paperwork, or riding a bicycle around the block, or something.  Anything.

I think that you need to find the sources of strength of will, of courage of conviction, and guard them fiercely.  Like an ancient hunter tribes-woman you carry your fire with you.  You must make sure it does not die, it is not rained out.  That you have materials to quickly and effectively make use of the tool that it is.

Your family can lift you up or bring you down.  Most days you lift me up.  I fight the fight because I know you need me to.  That need, my experience of the reality, and importance of it, its impact to you, and who you are to me - it gives me fire.  My siblings, my brothers and sisters - sometimes they do good, sometimes great harm.  They taught me that they are not waterproof.  They will put rain on my fire, to try and quench me.  Some are addicted to drama - the slew rate, how fast they are falling, is more important than having their feet on solid ground - they will will push you off a mountain and fall into the ocean with you if they can just to experience the fall.  Stay away from them.

Games.  Doing things.  These are intermittent.  I play chess tactics, or video games.  Mommy plays crosswords.  They are like gathering seeds.  Small and easy to find one.  Not easy to get enough to feed a family.

Don't let them get you down.  Ronald Reagan, speaking about a day when others were trying to break his soul, and steal his hope and make his life meaningless - to eat him without pity or even consideration of him as anything more than meat for the fire - he said "don't let the turkeys get to you".  Gather now, conserve and grow a will strong enough to resist turkeys.  Know what they are, something about how they work, and have enough informed will, and understanding, and strength, and tactics and strategy - to fend them off.

I it is my sincere prayer that the days when you must fend them off are few, rare, and not hard.  It is also my prayer that you are unrelenting, and victorious in the battle - when it is most important.

I love you kiddo.  God be with you.


Hey there, kiddo.

You liked our goofy spring departmental pre-picnic games.  In this picture mini is helping your (mascot) daddy answer funny questions.  You are wearing a team pink shirt and being a big girl.

Daddy was wearing a goofy hat, suspenders, a "sheriff" badge, and lots of pink.

Here is a picture of  micro.  She also had a lot of fun and was a sweetie.  She is helping her daddy pass out Baked, Flamin-Hot Cheetos.  Mmm.

I hope we get good pictures from the actual picnic.  I love my mathbabies, no matter how big girls and grown up and adventurous they get.