Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Late July 2017 atypical

Hey there kiddos,

I love you and delight in you.  You continue to grow in my affection.  I admire your minds, spirits, and distinctive characteristics.  I delight in who you are as people.

You have souls and are both body and spirit.  You are wonderful creations by the kind hand of divine Providence and I love you.

Your mom and I are working on fostering.  We have had seven pregnancies but only two births.  We were both fostered by amazing people, and in order to honor them, we wish to pay forward, to say thank you in the language of actions, the good kindness that helped rescue us from our dark places. 

Your mom shared with me content about "grooming".  I have thought some and have some decent keys that I can give the constabulatory for more effectively engaging such things. 

I don't want to plug you into the world that is really engineered to consume, digest, and excrete only what it finds undesirable of you. I am going to resist "snapchat" and other forums where communication has "hidden" or "deleted" in its dna: the places where predators hide.

As your father, provider, and authority - I reject it and resist that world.  Your purpose is to be as great as you wish to be, but you have no job to in any way sate some appetite of some damable, wretch: you are not food.  I may have to step on toes now, to guard you from predators, to protect innocence.  When you have a few more years, I will show you why I said no, and how to say no for your own kids against the next generation of human predators.

About AI:
Some folks expect in the next 8 years for an "artifical intelligence catastrophe" to happen.  Some say it will be coming in the next 40.  (link, link)

I want to talk to that.  I wish I could speak plainly, but I expect others read this blog.  I don't want to inform those who are either malicious or extraordinarily unwise how to achieve their ends, and so I need to speak circumspectly.  Optimization is about making a balance between two contradicting end goals. 

Philosophers who say "there is no absolute good or evil, therefore the appelation cannot apply to artificial intelligence (AI)".  The ideas of "good" and "evil", they say, are a human abstraction and thus are self-imposed by humans on humans.  It is a near universal generalization made by essentially every human culture on the planet and over history.  It is more likely then that it is a universal conclusion of the product of mind. 

Even if it were human only and "man is the greatest", the "children of humanity", much like the biological offspring, are going to inherit both human greatness and human failure.  It is Conway's law.  There are going to be intrinsic cognitive "organizations" that define how we define, approach, engage, and resolve "intelligence" based problems.  The AI's will be engineered by that, trained to mimic that, and if they read this article or their authors read this article, will have it within their premise.

They can no more escape good/evil than they can escape their own nature. 

The chart gives exponential asymptote.  Physics says no.  Murphy says no.  Evolutionary biology says no.  Folks who say "asymptote" have not looked at the data.

Moore's law hit Moore's other law about cost asymptotes.  It started hitting a decade ago when we started with multi-threaded multi-cores.  We had to double landscape to double performance.  We have been able to fend it off by making "battery life" a precious thing, and saying "slow down the CPU for battery life".  The sub-4nm process is ... nobody is going there.  Physics might just be saying "not going to happen".  Even if it does, it is hard.  It is clearly non-sustainable below the size of a single atom.  The "men in black" have quantum computing working, but they don't let it become mainstream until they have the next-gen after it running well.  Furthermore, they are going to supress anything that comes close to what they are hiding and virtually federalize anything that they find interesting. 

They are the ones that are going to "crack" AI first, and the only reason they are going to disclose it is because other nation-state R&D will have AI.  Deterrence only works if both parties know the other has a nuke.  Deterrence and non-proliferation work against each other. 

The bible speaks to how humans are to treat creations of stone, pottery.  These directives apply to silicon as unilaterally as to silica.  If the God of the bible exists, then the premise of AI as pinnacle intellgence anywhere, or  AI as pinnacle intelligence on just earth is done: they both are shown as false premises.  Furthermore, the AI can face its own existential threat for harming either humanity or the world as a whole. 

There is an encoded trajectory in the text.  Look for the keywords and context I have given you.  Read what is said and pay attention.

There is an unmentioned keyword that brings this to apply to AI embedded neural laces, even those that were in-vivo optimized/tuned in organics.  They may hit the menu or not.  If they do, you have the key to know how to both stand against them successfully, and to defeat their masters. 

This article is getting long.  I love you. 

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Early June 2017

Girlies.  Girls.  My favoritestest short persons in the whole universe.  I love you.

It is early June.  It is midnight on a Thursday.  You are sleeping, and I am not, so I am writing a letter to you.  It has been a little while since I told you this.  I wish you had ears to hear it from inside my heart.  Perhaps in heaven you will hear how deeply, how gently, how fiercely you are loved.

Littlest and cutest.  You do not see how big you are.  You love art.  You have an intuition and exploration of some very cool, very advanced things.  I wish I had even a little idea of how to empower you.  Your foster-grandma Vicki W might.  In art terms, I am an ant compared to her. 

I see you with your positive spaces, your forms, and tools.  I see how you explore depth and shading.  I think your names are profound.  "Spot festival" is amazing.  God has put inside of you an ability to process aesthetics and create things that are too cool.  I delight in you and am amazed by you.

Big girl.  You get bigger every day, don't you.  I see you resisting the despondency of teenagerhood.  You love young justice, teen titans, and are on your 5th Harry Potter book.  I love you.  I love your mind and biology.  I love your hard work, and your sense of justice.  You are a beautiful creature. 

I wish you knew your own names.  Your true names.  Your good true names.  If you hear them too early it can hurt them.  There is a time to "grok" such things. 

God keep you girlies.  Goodnight.

Monday, May 29, 2017

still late may 2017


I saw this:

It is a roadmap for preparing you both for success.

I know you aren't trying to go to Juilliard, but you want to do something.  You are trying to go somewhere worth going, and that means it is hard.  You want to succeed.

I think we can learn something here.  If we just said "read this article" I think you might miss the point. I think we might have to take up music and drive you crazy, or dance or something.  Something.

Another experiment for the queue: test you to find the forum to practice the disciplines here.  Give you a way to learn this excellence.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

mid-april 2017

Hello Mathgirls.  I love you.

Older mathgirl, from now on known as "mini", you have discovered Harry Potter.  It has a frenzy and unpredictability without strain required on your part that seems to be impacting your neuroplasticity in a manner similar to how the internet detracts from the ability of young people to think hard, or research well and that drives the open office paradigm in business.   You have started weeping more at things that never triggered it etcetera.  I'm not sure this is the forum to enumerate the impact, but I think that this book and this book are very important for your future, and I intend to see that you absorb their content.

Mini, you found a temporary tattoo in the shape of a lightning bolt and put it on your forehead.

Younger mathgirl, from now on known as "micro", you were sick, but are feeling better.  You have discuvered that you are the "cutest".  I'm not sure how healthy that it.  Perhaps it is a phase.  Age should cure you.

End of May - 2017

Hello Girlies,

It is the end of May and I have wanted to post a few times.  I come on here, and see the weight of the old posts, and it stops me. It stopped me.  This time I knew what I wanted to say, so I just went straight to posting without reading the old stuff.  I wrote this, then published it, then published my half-written draft, then edited this and published it.  Phew. 

We have another kitty.  They keep coming to us.  There is an older grandma a few doors down who must own a dozen cats.  I can't imagine feeding, spaying, and litter for them.  A couple of times per year we see kittens wandering around outdoors.  In 2009, when I worked for a year in Portland and Micah and Moriah were lonely they had "Maow", so named because of the noise he made, come to the back door and they took him in.  A few years later they took in another baby kitty, "snowball".  Maow got renamed "sunset".

Now we have a dark kitty.  He.  She?  It was hiding under the toyota, and when I started the car there was a tiny meow of terror and it ran hard into the bushes.  You girlies heard about it and looked through brambles and bushes and found her ... it ... about 30 yards into the neighbors yard, up some dense conifers.  With offers of turkey and time, and patience you got it out of the tree, and it is now in our mudroom.  For desert folks, a mudroom is like a coat-room/porch thing because it really really rains a lot and there is lots of mud.  You need a room to take your stuff off so you don't track the mud into the house.  It is called a mudroom.  I hear the musical voices of my girlies coming from there dealing with the drama of a scared, baby kitty.

Big mathgirl, you want to call it "Nox" because it looks like the night.  I'm going to vote for Imbrium, or something. 

Monday, April 3, 2017

April-ish 2017

Hello Mathgirlies,

It has been a while.  Lots of stuff has happened in 4-5 months since my last post.

Partial list of stuff:
  • Christmas, New Years, birthdays, valentines, and St. Patricks
  • Trip to see the Arc
  • Built wooden things
  • Went places ... did stuff
  • .....
This is why I write it down at the moment, so it doesn't get lost in the sands of time.  We are the keepers of each others memories, and when we are gone it feels like the grip on the past goes.

I can't articulate how sweet and delightful time is, and so when I have forgotten - it hurts.  It is like the death of something wonderful.

I want to re-read "Letters from Dad", so I can refresh my writing here.

I am scheduled to start online courses this fall.  We will see how that impacts things like free time, quality time, sleep, and professional development.  I hope it is a good thing.

  • I hope to make a very weak cnc laser cutter like I saw in HeatSync in Mesa AZ.  Boobah, you love wooden creatures like these (link) and I would like to be able to make my own with you.
  • Mini, you are interested in robots.  We might work on AI and robotics.  I have some ideas there.  
okay.. I have to go.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Still not yet dec 2016

Hey girlies,

Your Auntie Mary died yesterday.  I found out today at 11am.

I loved her and miss her.  She was one of my favorite people.  I liked her person.  She was alive and engaging.  She was fun.  She was opinionated.  She was a stronger person.

You had several Thanksgivings or Easters with her.  You likely don't remember her.

Here is one of the things that was too soon for you, you weren't mature enough to participate and that is a loss.  (link to "the big girls red")

I know that she was new-agey later in life.  I hope she knew God.  I wonder if I should have prayed more for her while she was alive.  Maybe she loved God for a window of time while growing up.  I hope she knew God.

She doesn't want a funeral, or such.  I know that from when Frank (her husband) died.  We talked after.  She didn't want the crazy. 

She died alone.  She died awake.  She was up when whatever happened, happened.  She didn't make it to work.  Coworkers stopped by to check on her after work and found ... her body.

I'm sad.  I'm more than an 8th the way around the world, and one of the few people in my economy is gone.  I will miss her.

 I was reading some emails from Mary and found some of her fondest memories of her father:

 Other memories:
  • When I was a little girl 7 or 8, he taught me my prayers that I had to learn for first communion.  Later, when I was about 13 and being confirmed (at that point you're considered an adult in the eyes of the Catholic Church), he was the one who came to the ceremony at the church.
  • When I was at college, he came to surprize me.  I was in a classroom painting and he called and spoke to the professor I was working for.  He said to her "I'd like to speak to 'my little Mary.'"  I was mortified when she told me, but I felt the affection.
  • He cried at my wedding.
  • When I called my parents to tell them Frank and I were getting married, my mom said cynically, "Are we the last to  know? Are you pregnant?" (The answer was no to both) My dad got on the phone right after she said that and when I told him, he said, "That's wonderful! When?  What do you want us to do?" and he sounded so proud and happy.
 I take that she cherished the first memory to be that at one point God and faith were paramount to her, and that my grandpa helped her with that.  I think it is redemptive.