Saturday, October 14, 2017

Mid-october 2017

I took a bit of a break.  It has been a while.  I miss you.

I'm in school again.  The world is always changing, isn't it.  Yoda says "always in motion is the future" but a big part of that is how the present is always in motion.  The older you get, the faster things seem to change.

Happy October, girlies.  I love you.  I like you.  I delight in you. 

So you are becoming big Harry Potter fans.  Reading the books.  Watching the movies.  Watching YouTube theories about whether Malfoy was a werewolf.  youtube.  YouTube.  YOUtube.  youTube.  I'm not sure how they capitalize that.  It is probably an early sign for dementia or Alzheimer's. 

When you are old-ish and brilliant, it is the loss of the largest part of identity - the inner self - that is more terrible than the loss of the body with age.  I would rather become a paraplegic than have a stroke. 

I want to write you good.  I would say the best vision I have for you, but that praise is not healthy.  Sugar and salt are both deadly. 
I feel like that scene from "the Finder" TV show where he talks about trying to see light from the bottom of a deep dark ocean.

I say "those burgers taste like ass".  It is code.  I hope you don't have to experience it.  There is some genetic pre-disposition to decent genius and also to slight end-of-flight instability for women in your heritage going back 4 generations on each side.  May you have all the genius and no more of the crazy than you can stand.

I want to talk about EQ, and maybe we could both study it. 

My compute run is over, so I have to get back to work...
I spent time thinking out loud, and maybe I didn't say much.  Did I say something?


Saturday, August 5, 2017

Early August 2017, and burgers

Something happened to me yesterday.

It is not the first time I have been treated like I'm defective, but it is the first time in a long time, and it is the first time in a professional environment.  It was like being slapped in the face.  I was both dismayed and astonished.

For what it is worth, I don't think they thought about what they said.  If they had the chance to see what it meant they might not have said it.  It still hurt.

I felt angry and ashamed at the same time.  I felt like they were saying I was fundamentally contemptable.  I can't ever be better.  This thing that is part of nature is somehow less and defective.  I'm never going to get it, but they get it now.  They are right, and I am wrong, and my only possible correct response is to convert my economy to theirs.

When I was six years old (1981-ish) I saw a movie that made me ask myself: what if the entire world is peopled by robots and I am the only human, but none of them know it.  I knew enough about the world that I knew they would kill me.  It wasn't that robots fundamentally kill non-robots, but it was a measure of humans.  Humans kill.  Not all humans, but some.

How do you resist the crushingness of some of these soul crushing things?

There are two things that you must know and hold against what you heard.  How do you measure "good"?  Who do you listen to?  There are going to be some messages that you need to not hear.  You need to know who you are.  You need to know you are good.  You need to not hear when words of those not capable or qualified speak against the truth of your identity.  It is how you stand against a body-blow.  If you don't have a strong identity, a strong idea of what is good/bad or right/wrong then they will cut you with a word, and it will not only cut your heart, it will cut the legs out from under you.  If you know who you are, if you have a solid root in identity then it will be like wind in the branches, but not the storm.  You will see it for its non-being and brace against it, and it will lose all of its substance and strength.  If you don't have a strong hold on the truth of your integrity and a courage behind your stand for your identity, then it will wash over you like the ocean and drown you.

Don't be drowned. 

So the dumb say "there is no wrong, and no right".  They will hear me say "know what is right and stand in it, and it will give you strength" and they will oppose what they call "your idea of right".  They will say "what gives your right any absolute correctness" and try to invalidate your ground.  The universal truth of the existence of right and wrong is wired into the race and the fundaments of mind.  for them to hate it, there must be a concept of it in their mind to hate, and therefore it can't not exist.  There absolutely and unilaterally is wrong and right, girlie girls.  Every culture has laws and, like I have said before, these exist because there is both crime and evil.  Know what is good, truly deeply and universally good, and do not depart from it.  Stand your ground.  Do not do what those lose and ignorant people do in their claim.  Do right. This will give you strength.

...

Work calls.  Homework calls.  You will soon be home from Pennsic.  I look forward to seeing you.

-mathdad




Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Late July 2017 atypical

Hey there kiddos,

I love you and delight in you.  You continue to grow in my affection.  I admire your minds, spirits, and distinctive characteristics.  I delight in who you are as people.

You have souls and are both body and spirit.  You are wonderful creations by the kind hand of divine Providence and I love you.

Your mom and I are working on fostering.  We have had seven pregnancies but only two births.  We were both fostered by amazing people, and in order to honor them, we wish to pay forward, to say thank you in the language of actions, the good kindness that helped rescue us from our dark places. 

Your mom shared with me content about "grooming".  I have thought some and have some decent keys that I can give the constabulatory for more effectively engaging such things. 

I don't want to plug you into the world that is really engineered to consume, digest, and excrete only what it finds undesirable of you. I am going to resist "snapchat" and other forums where communication has "hidden" or "deleted" in its dna: the places where predators hide.

As your father, provider, and authority - I reject it and resist that world.  Your purpose is to be as great as you wish to be, but you have no job to in any way sate some appetite of some damable, wretch: you are not food.  I may have to step on toes now, to guard you from predators, to protect innocence.  When you have a few more years, I will show you why I said no, and how to say no for your own kids against the next generation of human predators.

About AI:
Some folks expect in the next 8 years for an "artifical intelligence catastrophe" to happen.  Some say it will be coming in the next 40.  (link, link)

I want to talk to that.  I wish I could speak plainly, but I expect others read this blog.  I don't want to inform those who are either malicious or extraordinarily unwise how to achieve their ends, and so I need to speak circumspectly.  Optimization is about making a balance between two contradicting end goals. 

Good/evil:
Philosophers who say "there is no absolute good or evil, therefore the appelation cannot apply to artificial intelligence (AI)".  The ideas of "good" and "evil", they say, are a human abstraction and thus are self-imposed by humans on humans.  It is a near universal generalization made by essentially every human culture on the planet and over history.  It is more likely then that it is a universal conclusion of the product of mind. 

Even if it were human only and "man is the greatest", the "children of humanity", much like the biological offspring, are going to inherit both human greatness and human failure.  It is Conway's law.  There are going to be intrinsic cognitive "organizations" that define how we define, approach, engage, and resolve "intelligence" based problems.  The AI's will be engineered by that, trained to mimic that, and if they read this article or their authors read this article, will have it within their premise.

They can no more escape good/evil than they can escape their own nature. 

Ceilings:    
The chart gives exponential asymptote.  Physics says no.  Murphy says no.  Evolutionary biology says no.  Folks who say "asymptote" have not looked at the data.

Moore's law hit Moore's other law about cost asymptotes.  It started hitting a decade ago when we started with multi-threaded multi-cores.  We had to double landscape to double performance.  We have been able to fend it off by making "battery life" a precious thing, and saying "slow down the CPU for battery life".  The sub-4nm process is ... nobody is going there.  Physics might just be saying "not going to happen".  Even if it does, it is hard.  It is clearly non-sustainable below the size of a single atom.  The "men in black" have quantum computing working, but they don't let it become mainstream until they have the next-gen after it running well.  Furthermore, they are going to supress anything that comes close to what they are hiding and virtually federalize anything that they find interesting. 

They are the ones that are going to "crack" AI first, and the only reason they are going to disclose it is because other nation-state R&D will have AI.  Deterrence only works if both parties know the other has a nuke.  Deterrence and non-proliferation work against each other. 

Modalities:    
The bible speaks to how humans are to treat creations of stone, pottery.  These directives apply to silicon as unilaterally as to silica.  If the God of the bible exists, then the premise of AI as pinnacle intellgence anywhere, or  AI as pinnacle intelligence on just earth is done: they both are shown as false premises.  Furthermore, the AI can face its own existential threat for harming either humanity or the world as a whole. 

There is an encoded trajectory in the text.  Look for the keywords and context I have given you.  Read what is said and pay attention.

There is an unmentioned keyword that brings this to apply to AI embedded neural laces, even those that were in-vivo optimized/tuned in organics.  They may hit the menu or not.  If they do, you have the key to know how to both stand against them successfully, and to defeat their masters. 


This article is getting long.  I love you. 

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Early June 2017

Girlies.  Girls.  My favoritestest short persons in the whole universe.  I love you.

It is early June.  It is midnight on a Thursday.  You are sleeping, and I am not, so I am writing a letter to you.  It has been a little while since I told you this.  I wish you had ears to hear it from inside my heart.  Perhaps in heaven you will hear how deeply, how gently, how fiercely you are loved.

Littlest and cutest.  You do not see how big you are.  You love art.  You have an intuition and exploration of some very cool, very advanced things.  I wish I had even a little idea of how to empower you.  Your foster-grandma Vicki W might.  In art terms, I am an ant compared to her. 

I see you with your positive spaces, your forms, and tools.  I see how you explore depth and shading.  I think your names are profound.  "Spot festival" is amazing.  God has put inside of you an ability to process aesthetics and create things that are too cool.  I delight in you and am amazed by you.

Big girl.  You get bigger every day, don't you.  I see you resisting the despondency of teenagerhood.  You love young justice, teen titans, and are on your 5th Harry Potter book.  I love you.  I love your mind and biology.  I love your hard work, and your sense of justice.  You are a beautiful creature. 

I wish you knew your own names.  Your true names.  Your good true names.  If you hear them too early it can hurt them.  There is a time to "grok" such things. 

God keep you girlies.  Goodnight.

Monday, May 29, 2017

still late may 2017

Mathgirls,

I saw this:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-its-like-audition-juilliard-when-youre-11-penelope-trunk

It is a roadmap for preparing you both for success.

I know you aren't trying to go to Juilliard, but you want to do something.  You are trying to go somewhere worth going, and that means it is hard.  You want to succeed.

I think we can learn something here.  If we just said "read this article" I think you might miss the point. I think we might have to take up music and drive you crazy, or dance or something.  Something.

Another experiment for the queue: test you to find the forum to practice the disciplines here.  Give you a way to learn this excellence.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

mid-april 2017

Hello Mathgirls.  I love you.

Older mathgirl, from now on known as "mini", you have discovered Harry Potter.  It has a frenzy and unpredictability without strain required on your part that seems to be impacting your neuroplasticity in a manner similar to how the internet detracts from the ability of young people to think hard, or research well and that drives the open office paradigm in business.   You have started weeping more at things that never triggered it etcetera.  I'm not sure this is the forum to enumerate the impact, but I think that this book and this book are very important for your future, and I intend to see that you absorb their content.

Mini, you found a temporary tattoo in the shape of a lightning bolt and put it on your forehead.

Younger mathgirl, from now on known as "micro", you were sick, but are feeling better.  You have discuvered that you are the "cutest".  I'm not sure how healthy that it.  Perhaps it is a phase.  Age should cure you.

End of May - 2017

Hello Girlies,

It is the end of May and I have wanted to post a few times.  I come on here, and see the weight of the old posts, and it stops me. It stopped me.  This time I knew what I wanted to say, so I just went straight to posting without reading the old stuff.  I wrote this, then published it, then published my half-written draft, then edited this and published it.  Phew. 

We have another kitty.  They keep coming to us.  There is an older grandma a few doors down who must own a dozen cats.  I can't imagine feeding, spaying, and litter for them.  A couple of times per year we see kittens wandering around outdoors.  In 2009, when I worked for a year in Portland and Micah and Moriah were lonely they had "Maow", so named because of the noise he made, come to the back door and they took him in.  A few years later they took in another baby kitty, "snowball".  Maow got renamed "sunset".

Now we have a dark kitty.  He.  She?  It was hiding under the toyota, and when I started the car there was a tiny meow of terror and it ran hard into the bushes.  You girlies heard about it and looked through brambles and bushes and found her ... it ... about 30 yards into the neighbors yard, up some dense conifers.  With offers of turkey and time, and patience you got it out of the tree, and it is now in our mudroom.  For desert folks, a mudroom is like a coat-room/porch thing because it really really rains a lot and there is lots of mud.  You need a room to take your stuff off so you don't track the mud into the house.  It is called a mudroom.  I hear the musical voices of my girlies coming from there dealing with the drama of a scared, baby kitty.

Big mathgirl, you want to call it "Nox" because it looks like the night.  I'm going to vote for Imbrium, or something.