Hey there Mathgirl.
Its 7am and I'm at work. I'm struggling because I feel like I'm failing at the important things.
You see, I have too many things that I have to do and not enough me to get them done before they are due and if I fail at any one of them then it could be pretty bad.
How do keep you and our family so we have home, food, and opportunity?
How do I give you a daddy who is home and can play?
Those sound like simple questions, don't they? They are, but they are sneaky. Sometimes simple questions have very complex answers. What is value? What is success?
Daddy's work is complex. People are giving mixed messages, like "things are good" and "things are horrible". So I have to worry about job security. That is a lot of pressure.
I need to get in shape. I am obese and it makes me slow, and out of breath. The weight affects my brain and makes me feel sad more than I should. It makes it hard to have energy at home. It makes it hard to do things that I need to do there. As an adult this is a hard thing - how do I get the margin to invest well in my family and make sure they have their emotional needs met? This is extra hard with the job stress.
I am praying for you a lot. I get a thought of despair and I know that nothing in my strength can overcome this so I pray. God is good. God is big and I have seen many many many answered prayers - God hears. May God give you a good hope and a future. May he give you an excellent heart, healthy and appropriate training in mind, heart and action. May you also get a healthy childhood, teenagehood, tweenagehood, and a good family of your own when you are an adult.
Silly people call kids between 10 and 12 as "tweens". They forget the history of the word. It is for hobbits that were in their 20's who were treated as not fully adult - they were "tweenagers". Instead of saying that you aren't done at 20, the language abusers of today have re-engineered it to tell infants that they are teenagers. It gives them a larger market - more people to exploit.
Gotta go. Hard work calls.