Thursday, November 27, 2008

Month 5 day 7

Wow you are a handful.

You are starting to eat solid food. You are hungry to walk, to crawl, to talk. You want to do and be everything that the people around you are doing and being.

We were having weight problems with you again. It is likely related to you going to mathwife's grandmoms funeral. You had a lot of fun that week, but you also did not eat much. You came home and caught a cold. You are also teething.

You are an amazingly well behaved baby. You are happy. You tell us when you need to sleep. You dont yell and scream. You put up with us feeding you, and frustrating things.. like you have the hand of a great grace on you. I hope you are a gracious, joy-filled, and loving little creature.

Your mathdad is working hard. I work 9-5 M-F and come home tired. I also go to grad-school part time. Although I'm in an engineering program - I am thinking about transferring to an Applied Computational Mathematics program.

I hope to teach you game-theory when you can talk, so you can make good decisions with the data you have. The best laid plans of mice and men... we will see how that goes.

So I realized the other day that your position makes you somewhat blinded to whether or not I love you. You always experience that your math-parents love you. Thats your zero-mark, your baseline. What we call daily affection - thats where your measurement zero's in on. So my new challenge is to balance how I show you love so that you can actually percieve it. How do we do that. Do we have to do things intentionally to vex you, to leave you feeling less loved, so that your baseline for understanding that we are loving you is closer to actuality?

I guess these are the brick-walls that we have to drive through when you are a teenager. Tis the season, mathbaby - enjoy gumming sweet potatoe pie, mashed potatoes, and playing with your math-cousins.

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