I told you there were several dangerous lies, ideas that will put you on a failing path so early in life, in the song "Let it go" by Idina Menzel.
Here is a link to the lyrics, and the song:
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I'm the queen.
Her fear and the darkness made it a kingdom of isolation. She could have done it differently, the isolation was her choice. When you are ruled by the darkness then you are the slave, not the queen. The illusion of power made her more a slave, and less free.
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried!
Suppressing feelings is always a bad thing. Being a loose cannon and not have discretion on how you vomit your emotions on others is always a bad thing. They are the two extremes that orbit the center of balanced expression. Courtesy is the art of living well with others - and part of it is not rude, or violent. Part of it is about being genuine.
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door!
Letting it go is not how wonderful things are made. Hard work and discipline, in retrospect a small price, are what it costs to do great things. It has been said that "eternal vigilance is the price of freedom". Take the aroma of that as a gift - freedom is the fruit of a tree who's seed is hard work.
It's funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all!
The fears that controlled her still control her. Running from fear only makes it larger, not smaller. She was just as much a prisoner of fear in the ice palace as she was in the cold bedroom.
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!
There are always limits. God has limits, self-imposed but globally constraining. Knowing the rules, what they are or have changed into is how to achieve victory, success, and life. Breaking them for the sake of breaking them is a waste of energy - dissipation. Being without rules makes one a slave, not free. Appropriate rules for the person, for the community - that is where actual freedom lives.
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back,
The past is in the past!
It is dangerous to make an oath in anger. Never going back is not an option. We are products of our history - created by it. It leaves more fingerprints in us than we can ever count. No matter where we are, we are also where we were. In her fear, and even rejoicing in never going back - part of her was back.
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone!
In the end she says "that perfect girl" is gone. She means the opposite of those words. If you were truly perfect - the last thing you want is change. She means that the imperfect, broken, failure she felt like is something that she can put behind her. It still defines her actions. It is a lie.
When you hear it, you think that there is something about a former you - the you that you are now that could use changing. You have no idea how perfect you are. Love transforms. It causes one to see the silver through the tarnish - see the wood behind the paint. My daughter, you are a treasure to me and in my heart and my eyes you are perfect. When I hear you sing the words - words that will come true soon enough as you grow and the perfect little girl is gone no matter who you become - I want to weep. I never want the perfect you that you are to be gone.
You were not born to be a child - but you don't have one drop of the ocean of damage and hurt that the person who wrote the lyrics has. There is no storm to rage, there is no rules to break free from. I respect that you want a battle to fight, a prize to win, and a rubric for meaningfulness a meaningful life. I don't know exactly what you should be - there are many doors open at this point. I am here to enable and empower you, but the doors that you walk through are - each step of the way - your choice to walk through or burn.
I love you. I am committed to you even if you can't see me. Your mathmommy and I - we are here for you.
I never seriously thought about conquering the world by force until you came along. Your parents are committed to your well being with a strong ness that is almost alien to them. Alien in both strength and personality.
You should do what nobody in your generation is doing. You should understand that, and make the most of it - and make of yourself the amazing you that you could be.
Addendum:
My friend Lynn suggests that where the bible says "if you speak all the languages of men and angels and know all mysteries but have no love then you are an empty clanging noise and you have nothing" in the first letter to Corinth church - it speaks here too. Elsa was not rich in love; she was poor. It is insufficient of you to aspire to such a small thing.
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