Sunday, June 22, 2008

Day 2

You were born on a friday.
The wife pushed - the doctor pulled, and somehow you came out.

You are my baby girl. I am afraid of you, and still love you ... terrified.
7 pounds, 12 ounces.
19 inches.
cute enough to deform space-time.
... terrifying.

I tried to prepare for you with programs.
That was not the time.
There is a time to write a program, an analytic tool.
There is a time to just hold a tiny desperately peaceful baby, and let her rest in her daddy's hands.

Today you are home, and are confused.
Tabula Rasa except you know three things ... hunger/full, comfort/uncomfort, sleep/unsleep.
Still learning to suckle... how does the mammary gland work?
Now is the time for programs.

I tracked your numbers.. eating, pooping.
Least squares fits are not so useful on the direct data, but they are relevant to the time steps, the numeric first derivatives.
How long between diapers? How long between nursings?
The mean is useful, but my data is so sparse that a median does not say much.

You prefer to eat about every 3.5 to 5 hours.
Still learning how to nurse.
Still trying to operate a breast... get good latch.
You have tasted colostrum.. pre-milk.
You don't like formula.

You calmed down when I put my finger in your mouth. You sucked on it like it was a pacifier. I think that confused you. There is a difference between a pinky-finger and a nipple. Your sustenance comes from the latter.

You poop about every 3 hours.
A victim of metabolism and small size.
It is no longer meconium.. its from actual digestion.

You pee about every 6 hours... but with an upward trend.
You gotta get this nursing thing down. There is always some confusion in the beginning.

I can hold you in my numbers as well as my hands.
I can find out what you cant say..
- when you will need a diaper change
- when you will be hungry
- if you are having "enough" or not
I hope you grow up and learn to love pi, and programming computers.
I hope you have an IQ, and don't have an unhealthy fascination with pink.
Know how to rebuild a carburetor, and numerically solve Navier-Stokes.
Know what a true friend is ...

You came with a manual. Its encrypted. Im decoding it.
It says that my job is to be a superhero for you. I need to provide, nurture, and protect.

I love you baby girl.
Please grow up loving God.
Please stay away from unhealthy people, and the things of darkness.
Don't make the stupid mistakes of your parents.. and grandparents.. and great-grandparents... and...