July 2011

Hello Mathbaby,


We watched soul surfer at the dollar theater this month.  You asked why the shark bit the girls arm.  You liked the surfing.  Your grandfather died this month.  You and your mathmommy went back east to help your grandma with the funeral, to be there for her.  It was noble, I think.  While there you visited an aquarium that had baby sharks of some sort - the kind that don't bite.  You wanted to pet them, and did, and told me about it on the phone.  You also got to pet a swan.  We went to goodwill this week (not a bad frugal activity) where you found a small/portable ironing board.  You brought it to me and said you found a surfboard.  You stood on it well, and practiced paddling.  Your hair is getting long, again.  You need a trim.

I was reading that to be a successful blogger requires something like 4 posts per day.  I am getting maybe one per month in for you.  Not very successful, yet.  My question goes something like "I have been struggling for years to get quality time with my family, and keep my bills paid.  My progress has been problematic.  What does it take to do well here?"  I wish I could do well.

I'm trying to figure out whether I should keep paying (out of pocket) to go to school and fight for the degree (they don't seem to want me there) and try and make a big difference in this world (it is getting very dark).  I am trying hard to not lose .. but sometimes even the road to not losing seems very dim and hard to see.  It isn't the same as winning, but that is sometimes even harder to perceive.

I love you babygirl.  I have a picture on my desk to look at and I say "I gotta do well for her".  I gotta try.