One year

Good evening mathbaby,

You had a great birthday party. It was like an extended binge on sugar that eventually overwhelmed you.

You had a monster Jello-cake. They pour Jello over the un-frosted cake and it soaks into the bread. It changes the consistency, flavor, and sugar content. Then it gets frosted.

You had a party and your cousins, friends, and also mathmom and mathdad were there.

You got presents and everything. It was fun.

Your mathdad has noticed that you are profoundly stubborn. If someone wants to help or teach you - you resist like a teenager. This has me scared, so I am trying to find ways to earn legitimacy, and a right to share the excellent things with you.

I shared with you honey from the honeycomb. It is very sweet, totally healthy, a great way to combat local alergies, and also not allow until (note that this happened at your birthday party) not for children until they are 1 year or older.

You have had an interesting year. Its 100% of your life so far, and you have seen and done things that you didn't have the capacity to imagine just one year ago.

You started signing at 6 weeks. The only thing you could control was your tongue. This is you asking for your binkie. Aren't you just adorable??

For all your stubborn, you are a very well behaved and communicative little girl. I think that you learned early that you could get your needs met if you communicate. Maybe your mathdad had a part in that.

You love nature-walks with your mathmom. She likes the lakes and wildlife sanctuaries in the area and so do you. You love the birds. I hope that we have a budding ornithologist or aerospace engineer in you. Oh baby, be something great for daddy! Be amazing. It is easy for daddy to look in the mirror and not be able to change what he sees, and be disappointed with it. Make the choices so that when you look in the mirror, you see something great.

Good news, at least so far. Your daddy got a job up in Oregon. He makes just as much as he did at his old job, and that is good. He spends the workweek about 1222 miles away (according to Google maps walking directions). I miss your mommy and you terribly when I'm gone. Here is hoping that this job (a temp) works out for the longer term so I can keep you in a home, even if its one in the pacific northwest. They have good strawberries there - you would like them.

I have a week to show myself excellent. Next week is a big week for me - if I do great then its really good, if not - then not.

I like the line from Starship Troopers, "everybody fights, nobody quits". In our family everyone works. Mommy takes care of home and you, daddy works to pay the bills, and take care of mommy. Your job is to do well in school, and become a healthy and contributing member of society, and a successful person. Yeah that phrase has cultural baggage in it, but its also got some good paradigms for running a healthy home in a time of adversity.

Its evening right now. I just had dinner and my day is just about out of gas. I love you cute. You are a nice little light in my life and world. You and your mommy make the world a whole lot of a nicer place. You may not know it - so I have to say it just in case you don't. I love you kiddo. I'm glad that you are around.

Month 11

Hey there mathbaby,

Its been a long time since I posted.  You took your first steps yesterday.  You are balancing on your own and are so very proud of it.

You are getting so very big.  You are using words both one at a time, and you are working on two at a time.

I want to build a device that recognizes and clarifies baby phonemes.  I think we (adults) would have an easier time understanding the sounds you were trying (and having difficulty) putting together.

Your dad is trying to resist being in the unemployment pool.  I am working so very hard, and I do not see much of you kiddo.  

Final exams went well.  I can beat current state of the art in new product diffusion forecasting.. it remains to be seen by what margin it can be beat.  It looks significant (on the order of 50% reduction in uncertainty).  Too bad the company that I was interviewing with asserted a hiring freeze until december.  That makes my life difficult.

The strategies of coercion that get you to cooperate are currently variations on bait.  If your will is crossed you get mad and do not move.  If you are caused to follow carrots then you are much more compliant.

I tried playing with crumpled paper with you.  It makes noise, rolls unpredictably, and entertains cats.  It did not entertain you.  That shows you are at least above the developmental level of a cat.  That is interesting.  

We watched Akeela and the Bee again last night with the extended math-familia.  Mom, Dad, you, cousins, auntie B.  It was good.  I want you to be great, to be talented.  I want you to be the most that you can.  I hope that your adversity does not damage you but instead improves you.

I am at the cusp of being able to make serious inroads in accomplishing my quest of the three fluids.  I will let you know in the next 3 months whether or not that works out.  If it does, then your daddy has contributed significantly to making the world you live in a better place for you and for your grandkids.  If not.. we can talk about it then.

Gotta go.  I love you kiddo.

Month 9 day 16

I love you kiddo. You are so cute - even when you don't like waiting.




I found some un-uploaded pictures from the holidays and this was also very cute. Your math-cousin is holding you.


You look like you are trying to open your big blue eyes so wide that you can fit the whole universe in.


Daddy is trying hard not to be laid-off.

Month 6 day 3

Hey Mathbaby,

I was reading this article (link) , and I thought it was funny.

You have no idea how cool you are.
I played pat-a-cake with you in-utero. I felt for your hand on the surface of mathmommies belly. I patted it once. You patted back once. I then patted it twice. You patted back twice.

In mimicry you showed as a 7 month old fetus that number was meaningful to you.
You didn't know it, but you were counting before you were born.

Currently you are almost 50% your lifetime socially advanced - they say you are doing things that babies who are 1.5x your age typically do.

I love you math-baby.

-mathdad

Month 5 Day 23

This is you at zoo-lights.

You are holding a light in your hand. You wanted to take it away, and maybe put it in your mouth to see what it tastes like.

Its a privilege to show you wonders, and wonderful things.
Thank you for the opportunity.

I love you dearly, you cute little math-baby.

Month 5 day 19

So you are eating solid food - you poop stinks now.

You are still having issues with the bottle - sometimes you drink 9 ounces, sometimes 3.
We need to get a handle on that.

Today you meet your foster-grandma. Second time in your life. She will hold you, tickle you and make you giggle (you have such a delightful baby-girl giggle) and feed you. Its amazing of her to fly halfway across the country to spend time with you and your math-mom. Its good, healthy, girl-bonding time.

We might set up (or upside-down) a christmas tree (fake) and string popcorn and decorate it. There is more room for presents under this one, and less stuff for little hands to grab at a low level. On the other hand-its harder to get things to stay on the tree.



So I'm in the market for movies that inspire you. I want you to know you can be great - and not be dumbed down to the level of sheep. Here is the current list:

• Anne of Green Gables (but not Anne of Avonlea) link
  
• Akela and the Bee link
  
• Nim's Island link
  
• City of Ember link
  

Its good to have strong female characters - written to have (and use) their brains and to be courageous and valiant. It does not require dumb male characters any more than a great male character requires a stupid woman.. they are not mutually exclusive. Good examples should be credited as such. Weak caricatures of human beings, like most modern movies, and nearly not worth mentioning except as to avoid emulating.


Here is a halloween picture of your math-momma and some of the extended math-fam.

The little chili-pepper in the middle is you. The pirate-queen there is your math-mom. Your auntie and cousins are behind you and to your right.

Month 5 day 7

Wow you are a handful.

You are starting to eat solid food. You are hungry to walk, to crawl, to talk. You want to do and be everything that the people around you are doing and being.

We were having weight problems with you again. It is likely related to you going to mathwife's grandmoms funeral. You had a lot of fun that week, but you also did not eat much. You came home and caught a cold. You are also teething.

You are an amazingly well behaved baby. You are happy. You tell us when you need to sleep. You dont yell and scream. You put up with us feeding you, and frustrating things.. like you have the hand of a great grace on you. I hope you are a gracious, joy-filled, and loving little creature.

Your mathdad is working hard. I work 9-5 M-F and come home tired. I also go to grad-school part time. Although I'm in an engineering program - I am thinking about transferring to an Applied Computational Mathematics program.

I hope to teach you game-theory when you can talk, so you can make good decisions with the data you have. The best laid plans of mice and men... we will see how that goes.

So I realized the other day that your position makes you somewhat blinded to whether or not I love you. You always experience that your math-parents love you. Thats your zero-mark, your baseline. What we call daily affection - thats where your measurement zero's in on. So my new challenge is to balance how I show you love so that you can actually percieve it. How do we do that. Do we have to do things intentionally to vex you, to leave you feeling less loved, so that your baseline for understanding that we are loving you is closer to actuality?

I guess these are the brick-walls that we have to drive through when you are a teenager. Tis the season, mathbaby - enjoy gumming sweet potatoe pie, mashed potatoes, and playing with your math-cousins.